Yorkie - its not for girls.
Flew into NY, and after being completely molested by customs (buh I went through Cuba) I hopped on the train. After taking an incorrect subway train and ending up in Harlem close to midnight (which wasn't so bad, but didn't look so friendly for some obvious tourist with a massive bag on his back), I wound up at Jessica's apt. Jess was(is?) part of Team Madingley, my upstairs neighbour from Cam, who's now doing a PhD at Colombia NYC. She's got a totally sweet flat and let me crash her couch for (too) many days. Awesome. On arrival she treated me to the biggest slice of pizza I've ever seen. Bigger than my head! And apparently the NY way is to fold it in half to eat it. When in Rome.... Her apartment is cool. Although in the middle the views are on this desolate looking internal courtyard. It looks like a jail. Very depressing. And there's a door down the bottom but we didn't know where it led. So we climb down the fire escapes, perving into peoples apartments on the way, when we get to the lower level but the fire escape ladder release (for the final descent) is jammed. So if there's a fire - she's dead. Seriously, because we later find that even if you could get into the courtyard, the gate leading to the road is locked multiple times. Despite an inappropriate fire safety regime, her apartment was totally awesome - just near the north end of Central Park, and a block and a bit from the subway. Oh and the Seinfeld restaurant (well the outside) is at the end of her block - I highly recommend 'The Lumberjack' breakfast...
The plan was to meet up with my mate Tim from Spanish school in Argentina (who lives in Philly) and Andy, a mate from Cam who's off to complete his PhD in Panama (bitch!) and roadtrip. That was the plan. We met up in a cafe in NY and discussed where we were gonna go over some egg-cheese-and-ham-ariffic bagels. We were talking about Toronto, but 7hrs each way seemed too much... So we decided to cruise around, maybe check out Woodstock etc, and then hit Tim (Aussie Tim) & K's cabin in CT, cos they were having a curry night there. First we had to get Andy's stuff - he was staying with an ex-Cam politics PhD grad who now works for the UN. She had this awesome flat right near the UN, with an amazing rooftop view. Then we went to get my stuff. The problem was that we just couldn't get out of the city. It was close to peak-hour on Fri night. Madness. We couldn't find the exit onto the damn highway. Even after asking people, like the Latin mechanic Junior who gave very clear directions and kept barking IT'S EASY IT'S EASY. We did, however, find a massive wholesale liquor barn - you know the typical buy-in-bulk consumer warehouses - but this was basically just liquor. It was pretty awesome. We actually lost each other inside there. And I love the 'sections', like there was this one corner, bigger than a house and full of Heineken. Anyway we stocked up big time for the road trip. Not sure why, because we couldn't get out of NY. And in the US it's illegal to have an open bottle of booze in the car, yes, even if the driver is clean and not drinking. Several hours later (literally) we finally found our way out of the city. Now so late, we had to abandon our Woodstock plans and decided to find a beach. We cut into CT, which is apparently the richest state, where it seems all the NY big-wigs have their holiday homes. Man it's scary out there. Cookie-cutter homes, plastic smiles. We just wanted some snacks, but the place recommended to us sold lobster and only allowed valet parking. We asked about the beach, it was all private. This was a small town! We drove on and on, past excellent sights which we'd love to have seen had it been earlier (and open), such as the Garbage Museum. We found another sign to a beach - though when we got close we saw nothing but signs like "Do not pass", "Beach Closed" etc. It didn't look like a beach, but like it was a national border or the entrance to Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility or something! After driving on and getting some poor directions, we find that we are near an ocean but couldn't get to it. So we pull over and just run down the grassy mounds and find a horrible rocky beach. I guess it's like Pebble Beach. But with massive pebbles. We were so thirsty after that much driving that we downed a few along with some nuts and cranberries and headed down to Westport for some cabin curry fever.
Tim, Kelly, Mike, his wife were there, along with one of their friends, Rory, Tim's mate and business partner from Perth. They'd been into it for a while, so some were a little hammered. On arrival, the friend of the couple - who looks, acts and apparently has a similar life to those ladies from Desperate Housewives, asks us some random question about caskets. Anyway there was this bet, something about whether the casket is burnt with a body during cremation, or whether the body is taken out and burnt with a cheap box substitute. Tim won the bet, so I'm not sure exactly how this works out. But apparently if he went swimming in the creek behind naked he'd get $1000. The bet was settled earlier - so she rips out this wad of Franklins - yep $1k. Tim comes out in Wellington boots and a towel saying lets go. The chicks and him go out. None of the boys were into it, but we could hear the commotion outside. They come back and Tim counts his 1k. Far out $1k. And that chick who paid was like "Wow that's so worth it" laughing her head off. Was it really?! Andy goes "damn I would have done it for $10". Pretty random night. Out the front they had a whole stash of boards and spraycans, so we tested out our graffiti skills. Many a beer went down, just chilling out in the Cabin, yarning, with good (? ? Crazy) music etc. A good night.
Next day we went exploring - the Cabin is out in the woods, and although it looks like it's in the woods, it is surrounded by mansions. We went out 'trekking' (if you can call it that) on this trail for a bit, checking out some of the woodlands. Was really nice! We saw some rich guy and his kid walking through - we say hi, but he ignores us, which Tim says is typical for the area. We see him later speeding off in his black BMW, without his kid - dumped the body? The mansions are so American Pie they look scary. Especially funny is one house that has like a grave for their dog, with a big picture of the dog hanging on this flag type thing. Totally whack!
We head back to the city for a night out - hook up in Chinatown. Whilst waiting for Andy we find the most un-Chinese bar in the world. I think the guy was Russian and it was for old people. Weird. So many characters in NY. Once we all meet up - time for some awesome Chinese food. They didn't have green/Chinese tea (wtf?!) but lady had a secret stash of beer which she runs to the back and eagerly serves us. Andy didn't finish his in time, so they give him a brown bag. I don't understand how drinking out of an inconspicuous brown bag makes it legal!? Apparently it doesn't. Hit up Little Italy and people watched for a bit ? every second group was part of a hens night. Then we try to walk over to Greenwich Village, particularly looking for Cafe Wha?, where apparently Hendrix, Dylan and various other famous people have played. So we go there, and it's weird, cos it's a bar with a massive cover, but with table service, and you have allocated seats, etc. The band was actually bizarre - such a mix of ppl, someone from every genre, from old time rockers, to the weird death-metal types, to the Cuban percussionist, a Lenny Kravitz clone, a hip-hop style guy, an afro chick with an awesome voice, etc. Their skills were great, but the atmosphere wasn't. So many hens-night groups etc (yes, here too!), and it all seemed a bit contrived. Was fun though. Was also fun making my way back through the subway at 3am ? ignoring various people screaming at me. Man that pizza place near Jess' had a massive line. Dohh I was so hungry that I went to the 24hr chemist and bought a bag of raisin/peanut mix. Just not the same as a slice of pizza bigger than my head.
Got up early on Sunday. So the plan was to head into Harlem for some fried chicken and waffles. Can you think of a better way to start the day? Yes they are served together, with the deep fried chicken on top of the waffles. You get cornbread at the start too. It was pretty much the best fried chicken I've ever had. I went to this famous restaurant with a line out the front. I was the only person in there that wasn't coming straight from the Baptist Church donned in the finest of threads. Such a mix of people in there, some people talking about their law studies, one guy talking about his pharmacy course but using so much slang/accent that you wouldn't guess that they were talking about something academic, and some other chicks talking about dat fine boy and then saying I aint tippin nufin i dont have no money for dat. It was the best people watching experience ever. And wow, some of the suits people wear to church. The best one I saw, but didn't get a proper photo of was this guy in this electric blue suit walking into church. So awesome. Superstylin'
I then cruised around Spanish Harlem - and Williamsburg - wow some of those places look EXACTLY like parts of Mexico City - I mean, everything is in Spanish, the people, the shops, the markets, etc. Haha man New Yorkers are tough. I walk into this liquor store in Harlem cos I wanted to buy a thank-you gift for Jess. There was an Asian guy running the store, and the store is completely behind bullet-proof glass (it says so). So you can see all the bottles, but you have to tell what you want. So I'm in there looking around and this old lady comes in. She starts screaming at the guy - where's the brandy give me brandy. I don't know where she was from, obviously not a native English speaker, but she wasn't understanding the Hispanic customer who was in there helping her to translate. She's like CHEAP BRANDY give it to me. The guy working there starts screaming which one, what do you want! She's like 'Brandy Brandy!!'. She leaves and comes back later with someone else who starts screaming - 'I bought it yesterday. $6 Brandy. What's wrong with you". The guy is screaming "I wasn't working yesterday". Then they start screaming Shutup at each other and yelling more. "Which Brandies do you have", "Lots of them, look" (pointing at billions of bottles), then more abuse is hurled. "Get out of my shop", "Shuttup, shuttup". Situation escalates, the insults become worse. Eventually they leave without brandy. It was pretty intense. But then the guy comes up to me and says in the most polite voice - 'can I help you'. Like that is normal practice. I was expecting him to call the cops or something. Hahah - sheltered Jat.
That night I headed out with Tim (Arg Tim), Andy, Jessica and Mel (her housemate) to Williamstown to try and check out this Brasilian party that was meant to be going on. It wasn't.. It was totally lame, and had some bizarre arty guys moving like they were in some sort of interpretive dance class. Weird, but no mayhem. So then we tried to find some happenings in the city that never sleeps, but didn't really come up with much on a Sunday night. However, our expedition brought us to some places for some taste adventures (as I typically love to do). Like we had some egg whip (some disgusting bizarre milkshake thing), and some peanut butter & jelly sambos from a VERY japanese \-like vending machine (coin operated food), topped off with GreenTea icecream. Finished up in some late night bar near home, where I got carded but my ISIC card sufficed as id. Sweet beers to say goodbye to old mates.
Last day was Sept 11th - 5th year anniversary. Great day to fly home huh? So I went down to the WTC site to check out what was going on. Tons of people everywhere. In the plaza in front people were ringing massive bells etc. Closer to the site, there were heaps of people around talking about stuff, like memories, issues, etc. Lots of people were there with "Investigate it" shirts, holding up signs saying the collapse/incident was dodgy. Then there were other people with pro Bush & war signs (stuff like 'when the left say peace they mean surrender'. And lots inbetween. There were banners, signs, shirts and police everywhere. Probably the most over-the-top display was the tribute truck ? check it out below ? some pretty graphic images.
Leaving was surprisingly easy. Immigration wasn't any harder than usual. Though again, about tough New Yorkers - I was about to go through security when this Asian lady was there with her parents. The guy told her to take of her jackets. She said ok and mumbled something about why. And so the guy flared up - "cos I told you to - so hurry up!". She says "my parent's are old, give them time". Then they start screaming at each other. She asks for the supervisor and she says "He's being rude and screaming at me", "no he's not" is the supervisor's reply. Far out. Anyway she goes ahead and the first security guy grabs her tray and rather than putting it on the long conveyer; he throws it across the place so there's this massive crash and stuff falls out. My turn, I go through and after passing the electronic-cloth-sniffing procedure my bag is to be searched. Not surprising. I was sick and had terrible sinuses, so I was going to try and bring my nasal spray on the plane so my head wouldn't explode during the descent. So they take my passport and I'm made to stand back behind some line for a bit. Then they ask about my other stuff (like wallets etc) and I point to the tray so they're like you can get all that stuff. Anyway, the guy says that my bag's clear. So I pack up all my stuff and ask for my passport. He's says "look buddy I gave it to you", I disputed this, it was taken off me and then I had to wait, and now I'm picking up my stuff. He tells me to check my bags and pockets. I do this in front of him. Nope. Then he gets annoyed "look I gave it to you, even if I kept it I can't use it to fly on, so why would I take it". I explained that I wasn't accusing him of stealing it, just that it was taken from me and now I need it so I can proceed. He's like "not my problem, I don't care". I told him to call the manager then - cos I need to find the thing. He started shouting at me saying that I have it. After a while some of the trays are lifted and it was under there. And he's like look at that. I'm like ahh that's good, not caring about the situation, just happy to have the passport. He's like see I gave it to you. I was getting pissed off now and started explaining how it was impossible because the procedure is to take my passport at one point, and it ended up in a place I wouldn't have been able to get to. He screams "I don't care - apology accepted". I was like "that is NO apology, what's your name', he's like "have a nice flight".. Seems like people just like to fight there. All good - arrived in the UK, greeted by ultra-polite English. What a contrast.
Photos Here
 It's pretty big, I guess... |  Fire escape ackshon. |
The plan was to meet up with my mate Tim from Spanish school in Argentina (who lives in Philly) and Andy, a mate from Cam who's off to complete his PhD in Panama (bitch!) and roadtrip. That was the plan. We met up in a cafe in NY and discussed where we were gonna go over some egg-cheese-and-ham-ariffic bagels. We were talking about Toronto, but 7hrs each way seemed too much... So we decided to cruise around, maybe check out Woodstock etc, and then hit Tim (Aussie Tim) & K's cabin in CT, cos they were having a curry night there. First we had to get Andy's stuff - he was staying with an ex-Cam politics PhD grad who now works for the UN. She had this awesome flat right near the UN, with an amazing rooftop view. Then we went to get my stuff. The problem was that we just couldn't get out of the city. It was close to peak-hour on Fri night. Madness. We couldn't find the exit onto the damn highway. Even after asking people, like the Latin mechanic Junior who gave very clear directions and kept barking IT'S EASY IT'S EASY. We did, however, find a massive wholesale liquor barn - you know the typical buy-in-bulk consumer warehouses - but this was basically just liquor. It was pretty awesome. We actually lost each other inside there. And I love the 'sections', like there was this one corner, bigger than a house and full of Heineken. Anyway we stocked up big time for the road trip. Not sure why, because we couldn't get out of NY. And in the US it's illegal to have an open bottle of booze in the car, yes, even if the driver is clean and not drinking. Several hours later (literally) we finally found our way out of the city. Now so late, we had to abandon our Woodstock plans and decided to find a beach. We cut into CT, which is apparently the richest state, where it seems all the NY big-wigs have their holiday homes. Man it's scary out there. Cookie-cutter homes, plastic smiles. We just wanted some snacks, but the place recommended to us sold lobster and only allowed valet parking. We asked about the beach, it was all private. This was a small town! We drove on and on, past excellent sights which we'd love to have seen had it been earlier (and open), such as the Garbage Museum. We found another sign to a beach - though when we got close we saw nothing but signs like "Do not pass", "Beach Closed" etc. It didn't look like a beach, but like it was a national border or the entrance to Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility or something! After driving on and getting some poor directions, we find that we are near an ocean but couldn't get to it. So we pull over and just run down the grassy mounds and find a horrible rocky beach. I guess it's like Pebble Beach. But with massive pebbles. We were so thirsty after that much driving that we downed a few along with some nuts and cranberries and headed down to Westport for some cabin curry fever.
 Art geeks |  The only thing that helps pass the time away, is knowing I'll be back at Pebble beach some day |
Tim, Kelly, Mike, his wife were there, along with one of their friends, Rory, Tim's mate and business partner from Perth. They'd been into it for a while, so some were a little hammered. On arrival, the friend of the couple - who looks, acts and apparently has a similar life to those ladies from Desperate Housewives, asks us some random question about caskets. Anyway there was this bet, something about whether the casket is burnt with a body during cremation, or whether the body is taken out and burnt with a cheap box substitute. Tim won the bet, so I'm not sure exactly how this works out. But apparently if he went swimming in the creek behind naked he'd get $1000. The bet was settled earlier - so she rips out this wad of Franklins - yep $1k. Tim comes out in Wellington boots and a towel saying lets go. The chicks and him go out. None of the boys were into it, but we could hear the commotion outside. They come back and Tim counts his 1k. Far out $1k. And that chick who paid was like "Wow that's so worth it" laughing her head off. Was it really?! Andy goes "damn I would have done it for $10". Pretty random night. Out the front they had a whole stash of boards and spraycans, so we tested out our graffiti skills. Many a beer went down, just chilling out in the Cabin, yarning, with good (? ? Crazy) music etc. A good night.
Next day we went exploring - the Cabin is out in the woods, and although it looks like it's in the woods, it is surrounded by mansions. We went out 'trekking' (if you can call it that) on this trail for a bit, checking out some of the woodlands. Was really nice! We saw some rich guy and his kid walking through - we say hi, but he ignores us, which Tim says is typical for the area. We see him later speeding off in his black BMW, without his kid - dumped the body? The mansions are so American Pie they look scary. Especially funny is one house that has like a grave for their dog, with a big picture of the dog hanging on this flag type thing. Totally whack!
 When I die, I want a grave like this |  This photo belongs in an album cover |
We head back to the city for a night out - hook up in Chinatown. Whilst waiting for Andy we find the most un-Chinese bar in the world. I think the guy was Russian and it was for old people. Weird. So many characters in NY. Once we all meet up - time for some awesome Chinese food. They didn't have green/Chinese tea (wtf?!) but lady had a secret stash of beer which she runs to the back and eagerly serves us. Andy didn't finish his in time, so they give him a brown bag. I don't understand how drinking out of an inconspicuous brown bag makes it legal!? Apparently it doesn't. Hit up Little Italy and people watched for a bit ? every second group was part of a hens night. Then we try to walk over to Greenwich Village, particularly looking for Cafe Wha?, where apparently Hendrix, Dylan and various other famous people have played. So we go there, and it's weird, cos it's a bar with a massive cover, but with table service, and you have allocated seats, etc. The band was actually bizarre - such a mix of ppl, someone from every genre, from old time rockers, to the weird death-metal types, to the Cuban percussionist, a Lenny Kravitz clone, a hip-hop style guy, an afro chick with an awesome voice, etc. Their skills were great, but the atmosphere wasn't. So many hens-night groups etc (yes, here too!), and it all seemed a bit contrived. Was fun though. Was also fun making my way back through the subway at 3am ? ignoring various people screaming at me. Man that pizza place near Jess' had a massive line. Dohh I was so hungry that I went to the 24hr chemist and bought a bag of raisin/peanut mix. Just not the same as a slice of pizza bigger than my head.
Got up early on Sunday. So the plan was to head into Harlem for some fried chicken and waffles. Can you think of a better way to start the day? Yes they are served together, with the deep fried chicken on top of the waffles. You get cornbread at the start too. It was pretty much the best fried chicken I've ever had. I went to this famous restaurant with a line out the front. I was the only person in there that wasn't coming straight from the Baptist Church donned in the finest of threads. Such a mix of people in there, some people talking about their law studies, one guy talking about his pharmacy course but using so much slang/accent that you wouldn't guess that they were talking about something academic, and some other chicks talking about dat fine boy and then saying I aint tippin nufin i dont have no money for dat. It was the best people watching experience ever. And wow, some of the suits people wear to church. The best one I saw, but didn't get a proper photo of was this guy in this electric blue suit walking into church. So awesome. Superstylin'
I then cruised around Spanish Harlem - and Williamsburg - wow some of those places look EXACTLY like parts of Mexico City - I mean, everything is in Spanish, the people, the shops, the markets, etc. Haha man New Yorkers are tough. I walk into this liquor store in Harlem cos I wanted to buy a thank-you gift for Jess. There was an Asian guy running the store, and the store is completely behind bullet-proof glass (it says so). So you can see all the bottles, but you have to tell what you want. So I'm in there looking around and this old lady comes in. She starts screaming at the guy - where's the brandy give me brandy. I don't know where she was from, obviously not a native English speaker, but she wasn't understanding the Hispanic customer who was in there helping her to translate. She's like CHEAP BRANDY give it to me. The guy working there starts screaming which one, what do you want! She's like 'Brandy Brandy!!'. She leaves and comes back later with someone else who starts screaming - 'I bought it yesterday. $6 Brandy. What's wrong with you". The guy is screaming "I wasn't working yesterday". Then they start screaming Shutup at each other and yelling more. "Which Brandies do you have", "Lots of them, look" (pointing at billions of bottles), then more abuse is hurled. "Get out of my shop", "Shuttup, shuttup". Situation escalates, the insults become worse. Eventually they leave without brandy. It was pretty intense. But then the guy comes up to me and says in the most polite voice - 'can I help you'. Like that is normal practice. I was expecting him to call the cops or something. Hahah - sheltered Jat.
That night I headed out with Tim (Arg Tim), Andy, Jessica and Mel (her housemate) to Williamstown to try and check out this Brasilian party that was meant to be going on. It wasn't.. It was totally lame, and had some bizarre arty guys moving like they were in some sort of interpretive dance class. Weird, but no mayhem. So then we tried to find some happenings in the city that never sleeps, but didn't really come up with much on a Sunday night. However, our expedition brought us to some places for some taste adventures (as I typically love to do). Like we had some egg whip (some disgusting bizarre milkshake thing), and some peanut butter & jelly sambos from a VERY japanese \-like vending machine (coin operated food), topped off with GreenTea icecream. Finished up in some late night bar near home, where I got carded but my ISIC card sufficed as id. Sweet beers to say goodbye to old mates.
Last day was Sept 11th - 5th year anniversary. Great day to fly home huh? So I went down to the WTC site to check out what was going on. Tons of people everywhere. In the plaza in front people were ringing massive bells etc. Closer to the site, there were heaps of people around talking about stuff, like memories, issues, etc. Lots of people were there with "Investigate it" shirts, holding up signs saying the collapse/incident was dodgy. Then there were other people with pro Bush & war signs (stuff like 'when the left say peace they mean surrender'. And lots inbetween. There were banners, signs, shirts and police everywhere. Probably the most over-the-top display was the tribute truck ? check it out below ? some pretty graphic images.
 911 tribute truck |  Liberty bells |
Leaving was surprisingly easy. Immigration wasn't any harder than usual. Though again, about tough New Yorkers - I was about to go through security when this Asian lady was there with her parents. The guy told her to take of her jackets. She said ok and mumbled something about why. And so the guy flared up - "cos I told you to - so hurry up!". She says "my parent's are old, give them time". Then they start screaming at each other. She asks for the supervisor and she says "He's being rude and screaming at me", "no he's not" is the supervisor's reply. Far out. Anyway she goes ahead and the first security guy grabs her tray and rather than putting it on the long conveyer; he throws it across the place so there's this massive crash and stuff falls out. My turn, I go through and after passing the electronic-cloth-sniffing procedure my bag is to be searched. Not surprising. I was sick and had terrible sinuses, so I was going to try and bring my nasal spray on the plane so my head wouldn't explode during the descent. So they take my passport and I'm made to stand back behind some line for a bit. Then they ask about my other stuff (like wallets etc) and I point to the tray so they're like you can get all that stuff. Anyway, the guy says that my bag's clear. So I pack up all my stuff and ask for my passport. He's says "look buddy I gave it to you", I disputed this, it was taken off me and then I had to wait, and now I'm picking up my stuff. He tells me to check my bags and pockets. I do this in front of him. Nope. Then he gets annoyed "look I gave it to you, even if I kept it I can't use it to fly on, so why would I take it". I explained that I wasn't accusing him of stealing it, just that it was taken from me and now I need it so I can proceed. He's like "not my problem, I don't care". I told him to call the manager then - cos I need to find the thing. He started shouting at me saying that I have it. After a while some of the trays are lifted and it was under there. And he's like look at that. I'm like ahh that's good, not caring about the situation, just happy to have the passport. He's like see I gave it to you. I was getting pissed off now and started explaining how it was impossible because the procedure is to take my passport at one point, and it ended up in a place I wouldn't have been able to get to. He screams "I don't care - apology accepted". I was like "that is NO apology, what's your name', he's like "have a nice flight".. Seems like people just like to fight there. All good - arrived in the UK, greeted by ultra-polite English. What a contrast.
Photos Here
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